Lufterz in her Nutcase

2008-06-10T22:35:00.002+08:00

I was so furious that I could have swept every damn thing off the table. Instead I swallowed it, thinking that violence is not the solution to everything. But my stupid brain decided to convert all that fiery energy into an hour's worth of angry tears. I was that angry.

I am not going to cry anymore. I shall resort to violence the next time, like really.

Sex and the City, together with the Wedding Bells

2008-06-01T20:39:00.003+08:00

I love the movie for all sorts of reasons. All I can say is SATC is a girls' thing, so put your bf, fiance or husband at home and go catch it with your best girl friends!

Alongside my great movie experience is a couple of ringing wedding bells. One of which belongs to a very good friend of mine. The news might have come as a mini surprise, but I am happy that she is happy!

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."

Go ahead and fall head over heels for Jude, gal! Love you loads...

Back from Macau

2008-05-27T01:43:00.003+08:00

Was in Macau last week for a Sony Ericsson conference. To all the SE fans out there, your patience will definitely pay off end of this year =) And one thing that I learnt about myself from this overseas trip, you will only find me at the upcoming IR for work...not leisure.

Anyway, maybe I am really silly, but have agreed to give it a FINAL shot. A part of me still doesn't want to give up just like that. Yeh I know Bamboo and Stoofy gonna be mad at me for this...sorry darlingz.

Half-time

2008-05-15T01:49:00.003+08:00

I said I did it.

But he did what he is best at...and this time round, even better!

Damn. I must beat him to it.

2008-05-12T19:59:00.002+08:00

I finally did it.

Strangely, it didn't feel as relieved as I imagined it to be.

There was this deep sense of betrayal, and a tinge of regrets. It just sucks a BIG time.

But I know I will crash without doing it...for myself.

I don't even believe in myself anymore..............

2008-05-06T00:51:00.004+08:00

Freedom lies in being bold.

Happy Bird Day Wooooo Yarn Lee

2008-05-04T23:16:00.008+08:00

It has been a while since we last met up. Nice to hear that everyone is doing well, and more importantly, many potential wedding bells ringing. Seriously, Girls...although I always joke about everyone ditching me for everyone else, I honestly don't want any of you to stay with me for the rest of your life....'cos I believe I have finally discovered my heterosexual self and I only want 阿信...*winkz*!

Well anyway, back to serious business, I have also received the letter that I have been waiting for on Friday - just the recovery booster that I so needed. Again, it really warmed my heart to know that she is doing well...in fact, SO GREAT that she becomes my motivational force. Whatever she is doing right now....is exactly what we imagined our lifestyle to be 2 years back while we were still geeks @ the geeky faculty. Way to go, Sister Peggy!

Maybe I should just let go of all those silly reservations and worries, and be really out there too.

Retarded me

2008-05-02T22:21:00.003+08:00

I still can't believe that fever should come under the medical description until the doctor said so this afternoon. And I haven't been to a doctor for years........ to fork out 88 bucks for consultation and medicine seems kind of hefty!

I will claim everything from company! Hmph!

阿信最爱★五月天放大絕

2008-04-29T23:29:00.002+08:00

Continuing my silly craze from Saturday, I somehow got hold of 阿信's blog link and have been reading it since. The traditional chinese characters did make reading tad challenging initially, but his personal insights were so dynamic and engaging that I soon found myself smiling instead of knitting my eyebrows.

It is just one of those writings that make you feel REAL and at ease.

Nice.

http://blog.sina.com.cn/musiq

Saturday Fever makes a Sunday Slacker

2008-04-27T21:40:00.009+08:00

Stress-free weekend, just the kind that I was pining for. And how I miss it even now! I think I am addicted to this HAPPY lifestyle already.

Honestly, if working 24/7 is making me no more than a solitary, headless chicken - and we ain't talking about the most supportive environment here - I should really take back the ownership of MY life. I should think this is called "rediscovering priorities".

Yesterday was All Fun, No Frills - an exciting Ubin kampong trip followed by the most highly-anticipated Mayday concert!!! Last year's was great, but it's EVEN CRAZIER this year! Everyone at the concert was bursting with energy; I swear we could tear the roof down with all that screamings. Geez, I am missing every bit of the show already!

Very selected snapshots of Ubin trip...

And then the limited shots from my very dear Mayday concert...

You bet I went so hysterical that I couldn't even spare a second to take pictures!

And finally....today, we celebrated Grandpa's "87th" birthday. There was a mini confusion over the numbers because although he was born in the year 1922, we Chinese had a different way of calculating human age. Well, anything for the birthday star (because he was the one who insisted on 87)!

Happy Birthday Ah-Gong =)

離開地球表面

2008-04-26T00:00:00.003+08:00

I said I will not let work disrupt my social calendar...and so I didn't...keep to my words.

Yesterday, I was one hour late for a dinner gathering.

Today, I stood my friend up because rendering 4 stupid videos took 9 damn hours.

Tak boleh!

From now till 27 Apr 2359, only FUN shall exist!

Roar!!!!

This is a happy post!

2008-04-21T23:39:00.003+08:00

wheee, TWEEZE ! I am exploding in raptures right now! B-E-C-A-U-S-E I am going for MayDay's concert this Saturday!!! Goodness! *lol*

There are also other exciting stuffs lined up for me from Thursday onwards. I am so NOT going to let work get in my way.

Yipee!!! I am a happy old woman! =)

2008-04-21T02:07:00.002+08:00

Why am I always awake during wee hours of the morning?

Because this is the only time when I can spend quality time alone, immersing myself in my all-time favourite hits, while doing whatever "bimbotic" things you can think of.

I seem to be indulging in this sort of lifestyle quite a bit...at the expense of a clear and healthy complexion though =P

2008-04-18T00:46:00.002+08:00

Mr grandbrother reminded me that I should check if Boss knows the existence of my blog as 99% of my entries is work-related. My answer was "no"...because 1) I removed my blog link the moment I realised I have colleagues on my friends list 2) He probably didn't think that anyone above 18 actually blogs. 3) There is no reason why anyone other than my FRIENDS will want to read moi blog.

However, if by any 0.001% chance Boss or my dear Colleague is reading this....HELLO!!! And yesh, I was and am happy and unhappy at work...those ain't secrets anyway. Right?

And due to some strange reasons, people have been asking about "boyfriend" almost every other day. Hmm, thank you everyone but, nah....there are other things going on too =)

2008-04-13T23:27:00.001+08:00

I WANT TO WATCH WU YUE TIAN'S CONCERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *sobz*

2008-04-09T00:19:00.003+08:00

Anyway, have the breakdancers' song constantly ringing in my ears ever since the event...pretty catchy. Right, I am old and old-fashioned, I know...to think that I can be so easily impressed by things like that.

Well, I don't care...and I gonna have this song on my blog for the next couple of weeks.

17 years old and still GROOOOOOOOWING

2008-04-08T23:50:00.003+08:00

Yo, put your hands up, put your hands up!

"DJ buddy, you gotta spin faster...cos Zinger is waiting for me at the holding room"

Really, I bet that was constantly at the back of Ah Sean's mind as he rushed through his first showcase in Singapore at the MOS just a few hours back.

And when he left so abruptly after his finale song with the poor emcee calling out for him from the stage for at least 10 times, everyone scrambled to "draaaaaaag" him back to stage so that he could be presented with a token of appreciation. Best. Ah Sean didi, we had gotten you like 10 of your FAVOURITE Zinger burgers...you really didn't have to worry ya.

Yes, Sean Kingston LOVES Zinger burgers.

Duh.

Anyway, am glad that this event is over =)

2008-04-07T00:45:00.002+08:00

Stoned. Stone. Stoning.

Aw, screw it! Do something, do something!

Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune, but great minds rise above them.
-Washington Irving

Erm...honestly, I don't read enough to know the author whom I just quoted.

2008-04-03T00:35:00.002+08:00

Dr Vivian Balakrishnan was the GOH for SBA two days back. It was my first time seeing him in person, and yes I was quite excited about it... for some superficial reasons =P

And because of that, I listened to his speech. There was the mention of a true "multi-dimensional" individual; one with a wide array of interests in life - science, arts, culture, sports etc. Immediately, I had a mental picture of an x-axis with the label "lufterz". Just an x-axis, pointing in the opposite direction.

And just an hour ago, I woke up amidst my nap to catch this judge reprimanding a finalist for breaking down in face of criticism and stress on a Taiwanese reality TV show. And the rundown seemed tailored for lufterz.

Bang, bang.

Bingo, bingo.

2008-04-02T00:41:00.002+08:00

I raised my voice at 2 people over the phone today. I am partially at fault for whatever the "argument" was about, but they didn't think they are... especially one of them in particular.

I feel bad about having to raise my voice. Not feeling bad towards them...'cos I don't see why. But really, I should have better anger management. And yes, I am also losing every bit of patience I have with my colleagues.

Ya I know. I am evil.

Hopeful

2008-03-30T02:32:00.002+08:00

I am so glad that I took the day off and met up with my best gfs. It was one of the best therapeutic experience ever for the battered and cynical soul =)

Love ya, darlings!

I quit...just for Saturday

2008-03-29T04:51:00.002+08:00

There are 101 urgent matters on the working diary. But screw them all...for Saturday. Really.

2008-03-28T01:28:00.002+08:00

The second day of the event. Peaceful chaos.

More or less...there.

Engulfed

2008-03-27T01:36:00.007+08:00

Was so dead tired that I fell asleep while trying to reply an email to a client. It wasn't till 2 hours later - which is like now - that I jolt out of sleep...with eyes bloodshot red from prolonged hours of wearing contact lenses. Oh no, NARS is melting on my dull, tired skin too.

The event today wasn't exactly the best; not when you have a sick emcee who is all grouchy and frustrated even on stage, and intermittent changes to the programme flow from client. On top of that, several more internal heart attacks.

Heart resumed its function when I had my first physical energy boost of the day with my colleagues. But it slipped into another case of malfunction as the dinner evolved into an in-depth discussion of the team. They also told me that I need to be more organised and alert. I appreciate and agree with their honest feedback, really; in fact, it's one stale introspective issue that has been bugging me since day dunno what...and I wish I know better how to save myself.

Ironically, I have been arrowed to arrange for an internal kick-off meeting. If you ask me, it is not going to serve more than an official reason for everyone to slack from work. The only highly-recommended solution - get rid of the cmi team members who are stifling the work progress, including myself. Everyone thinks that everyone else is the root of the problem. Well, everyone is right. But does everyone know? I know, but I can't speak for the rest.

2008-03-25T03:40:00.000+08:00

Am doing okie today. A greater day tml!

2008-03-24T01:42:00.003+08:00

I would like to think that I can make everything work from this very moment !

2008-03-23T14:30:00.002+08:00

It has everything that I need and want to learn in life. But it too has a lot more things that make me want to fix an appointment with Dr Georgia Lee very soon.

My friends' work can be as mundane and as boring as shit, but their team members make the day. On the flip side, the industry I am in is dynamic and exciting, and guess what? I prefer not to discuss further for it makes me sick and want to revolt.

I rather be stupid but happy now.

Boss, face up to reality and get rid of me in whichever way you like. Just make it quick.

2008-03-18T01:56:00.003+08:00

He is a prima donna. Yes, HE is a P-R-I-M-A D-O-N-N-A.

I don't like him. In fact, I loathe any contact with him. If violence can be condoned just once, I wouldn't mind making minced meat out of him. But of course, no one should eat that 'cos I don't exactly fancy the concept of cannibalism...so I prolly gonna flush it down the toilet afterall.

Any more fagged-up attitude, just be prepared to get flushed into the condemned list. And so you think you can dance?

2008-03-17T22:21:00.001+08:00

I deirc very yldab today. Like really yldab. I am extremely yppahnu. I want to tuiq my boj...should I?

moi humble step into the CLASS-ical world

2008-03-13T01:47:00.004+08:00

Please be informed that lufterz is bidding farewell to her uncouth ways and stepping into the world of class...-ical music, in particular the works of Erich Leindorf. WOW!

Even those who understand me at just face value will know that I was NEVER a class...-ical (music) person. The only times when I play classical pieces (if "Top 100 Classical Picks" counts) is when I desperately need "music" and "absolute focus" as a bundle package.

And just few hours back, I was played a classical piece by Erich Leinsdorf, and asked to paint a mental picture based on what I hear. I painted...and the colors were splashed unstylishly all over the canvas; my primary school art teacher would have failed me on the spot, I am sure. See, I am one unglam freak. HOWEVER, if daily class-ical music canvas painting can turn me into a creative and imaginative LADY, bring it on, man!

Say hi to the brand new GLAMAROUS lufterz... ...with class and elegance please =)

PS: A gentle reminder before I wrap this up... I LOVE GURMIT!!! This craze gonna last for quite some time so please pardon me ya.

2008-03-11T00:56:00.002+08:00

It was one unthinkable period.

I picked a fight with my fellow co-workers. I drowned myself in self-generated negative energy. I paid payment but fled without my purchases upon the sight of a familiar face. Geez, why didn't I check myself into IMH, really!

But fortunately, I was given the emotional outlet that I so badly needed. Sorry if I had upset anyone while wallowing in self-pity. Yesh, I was being silly.

Darling, I will buck up...not fuck up. =)

2008-03-04T22:57:00.002+08:00

I actually gave up my last (and only) chance of getting close to Gurmit Singh 'cos I was shagged. I swear this is the absolute truth. Anyway, everyone was vying for a piece of him...I honestly, seriously didn't want to reduce him to bones. So much for my ego. I still love him nevertheless. =)

The show went pretty okie...except that there was a mini break down in the afternoon. Not tears of sorrow, but tears of extreme frustration. But it was only a 1-minute craziness, and it was back to work after that. My phone never stopped ringing from 9am onwards, and neither did the walkie talkie. They were all requests of all sorts from different folks...70ish outgoing and incoming calls in total within a span of 12 hours...how's that? As hard as I tried, I really couldn't fulfil everyone's requests. And then I had people jumping on me for fuck, not in the literal sense of course. Yes, it was the tourism awards that we were working on, but holy crap! I am not one of the nominees! So fuck off, you god damn son of the bitch.

It's all these silly creatures and screwed up situations that really put me off. I really don't know how long more I can hang on in here 'cos I can feel myself slipping away...from everyone, everything and everywhere.

I can't. I really can't.

2008-03-02T01:09:00.005+08:00

I roamed around town alone this afternoon after the meeting.

I just roamed. Alone. So much craziness going through my mind, and nothing happening in my life. Rid rationality for the few hours, and I might be nothing more than gore now. Why not.

Graduate, so what? I can't remember any Mathematics theories anymore. Like since when can I remember anything?

Events, so what? I am the biggest liability on the company's profile.

Social circle, so what? Oh sorry, social dot.

I wanted so much to cry when I saw a teenage daughter whining to her mummy...'cos I wish I could do the same too.

I just need a good cry. I really really need that.

2008-03-02T00:09:00.003+08:00

It's confirmed.

I LOVE GURMIT !

He is SO cute and funny in person. I couldn't stop giggling (can't lol 'cos trying to maintain an "image") throughout the 1-hour meeting, because he is REALLY one live wire. Even more entertaining off stage, I feel. But why one hour only!!!

Well, that's not the important part.

What matters to me is the goodbye kiss. It's sounding kind of crazy, but I wish I had the choice of not washing my face for good. Don't ask me why, I am just attracted to guys like this.

Gurmit is THE man =P

Why I love my job?

2008-02-29T21:45:00.003+08:00

Because I can spend some exclusive moments with my love tomorrow morning! Whoooo!!! I love Gurmit!

Anyway, people have been telling me that I have a really good boss whom I can learn a lot from. I am just wondering if I am worth all that fuss actually.

I am officially evil

2008-02-27T17:07:00.003+08:00

Take a peep at what's going through my mind.

And you will see debris of evil thoughts. Ya, I have been cursing and swearing at this woman for some personal (and possibly work-related) reasons (because I am a woman?). She didn't inflict any physical injury on me ( nope, she didn't slap me while servicing her), but she was one big farking bruise on my ego. And for that, evil me called her a CCB...behind her back of course.

But she is one...in every sense.

I am officially evil.

My love

2008-02-25T23:13:00.003+08:00

WEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, they are coming to Singapore.....soon. But when exactly, I dunno. But anywayz, my darling is coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Economy booster

2008-02-24T22:36:00.002+08:00

A down person is the perfect economy booster. And lufterz is the cream of the crop in this sense.

Lufterz bought a story book at Kinokuniya...$

Lufterz bought Bonjuris eyeshadow...$$

Lufterz replenished her toiletries at Watsons...$$$

Lufterz sat in a hair salon for a good 4 hours to turn her hair red...$$$$

Lufterz bought 3 tops, 2 pairs of pants and 1 dress ...$$$$$

Lufterz dare not list more $$$$$$ for fear that she might faint in face of reality.

And now lufterz ponders upon the effectiveness of retail therapy. Yes, it took her mind off the shit things for the past 2 days...but now she is thinking that she is REALLY OUT OF HER MIND!

Lufterz, better ensure that "life doesn't suck and shit doesn't happen" from now on for the price you pay!

F-U-C-K. FUCK

2008-02-23T04:36:00.001+08:00

lufterz frustrated with skoowork

2008-02-17T16:04:00.002+08:00

2008-02-14T23:09:00.003+08:00

I spent the night alone in the office, photocopying 13 sets of meeting notes for an early morning meeting.

Crap #1. That few hours of mundaneness indirectly evoked negative energy and thoughts. It's one of those times when I wanted so badly to retreat to the comfort zone...because This is so uncomfortable.

Crap #2. And it has become a "fact" that I will be wishing everyone "Happy Friendship Day" for quite some time. I do mind it, after all.

Crap #3. I need a good night sleep ... without nightmares or funny dreams, please. Looks like I need to get myself the scary looking dream catcher soon.

2008-02-13T21:33:00.003+08:00

We were sooooo god damn close to winning it. It didn't come as a SHOCK, but it certainly sucked. Something is not right... somewhere, somehow... with me. *whatever*

And yes...people are teasing me about tomorrow already. *whatever whatever*

And so she apologized...

2008-02-12T22:51:00.000+08:00

She apologized for the nude photo scandal...because as a public figure, she ought to be socially responsible for her "squeaky clean image" which earns her her ardent fans that are made up of mostly teenagers. This, I understand.

BUT IF (yes, I am taking risks and making loads of assumptions) she had apologized because she made the choice of recording those moments and that "private collection" had been posted online... against her wish, I start to wonder why. Because she should have remained untainted till the day she ties the knot...to be socially acceptable *snort*? Or because recording moments of physical initimacy is sinful *SNORT* ? Please lar...give her a break.

Remembering Ah Meng (1960 - 2008)

2008-02-12T22:40:00.000+08:00

Celebrating MOI year as well as singlehood =)

2008-02-11T21:31:00.000+08:00

I am back to the cyber world after the noooooong CNY break *squeak squeak squeak*

Yohoo peepz! Welcome to MOI year of mousey =) Yeah, I have been placing great emphasis on the word "moi"...'cos it is MINE!!! muhahahaha...whatever it is, Happy Mousey New Year, folks!

My CNY break was tranquil...free from all kinds of turmoil and troubles; just the way I wanted it to be. I finished a 20-episode HK drama series, Fantasy Hotel within a day. For those whose minds have strayed towards a certain direction, the title has much more depth and substance than THAT. It is about a trio taking over and rebuilding a disreputable TOURIST hotel. It was particularly intriguing to me 'cos I thought it was an interesting mirror image of my company's structure and style. And it led me to the haunting question of "Just how long more?" *think think think*

Anyway...this morning, I was callously reminded of the coming V-day. Fine! I shall confess that I have got this disturbingly mixed feelings towards 14 Feb. Should I dismiss it as "one of the 365 days" or celebrate...not valentine but singlehood? With more and more people enquiring about 14 Feb, I guess it's difficult to adopt the former. Guess I am not left with much of a choice, am I?

So let's celebrate singlehood!

But hey, didn't the horoscope master say that I will enjoy abundant luck in love in the year of mousey! hahahahaha...this is so tantalising sia...

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=19344&l=05ccc&id=542676937

down MOMENT

2008-01-30T21:46:00.000+08:00

ANGRY
DISAPPOINTED
DEMORALISED

and

FUCKED UP.

ARGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

It feels like a fish trying to fly and a bird trying to swim. And how on earth should a fish feel if a bird has to impart it water survival skills!

ARGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

*SILLY* *SILLY* GO AWAY!

Yeow!

2008-01-28T21:26:00.000+08:00

Hard knock on my head. It was a fucking bad proposal that I sent out on my own accord...it's also one that almost killed our chances of doing another good...if not better show for a long time client. But thank god, we were given a chance to rework on our proposal. lufterz better do a good job this time round *grinding teeth and clenching fist* !

And..."do you believe in magic"?

God-damn day

2008-01-22T21:08:00.000+08:00

ALL RIGHT. lufterz-damn day of "enchantment".

Geez, was that 340-ish days that just went past me...AGAIN? 'cos I was reminded (by myself actually)that my most dreaded festive of "enchantment" (note the sarcastic tone there) is just down the next street.

......

Was that sour grapes?

......

I love grapes actually.

HY = Happiness

2008-01-21T21:06:00.000+08:00

Wow, we have been getting positive responses from our sales pitches! Woohoo!

For the first time in the past 1 year and 3 months...I am FEELING FOR my job! Positive feelings, that is. F-I-N-A-L-L-Y..........Finally I am feeling THE drive! Gosh, what a loooong reaction time I have got there!

But hey, I am happy! Like really! =)

KICKASS Y2008 !

2008-01-11T17:26:00.000+08:00

Has been a while since I last blogged. Just thought a break would do me some good...and it did.

Contrary to the myths by my dear comrades, Discover Hong Kong was quite eventful over the new year period....save that we had to spend half the time thawing ourselves out. We might have started on a "stifling" mode, but being AP and me...we couldn't resist behaving UGLILY especially when it was just me and her time. For example, we were laughing so hard after every ride at Ocean Park that people threw us sympathetic looks. Geez, weren't we god damn UNIQUELY SINGAPORE? Well, we don't really care

Anywayz, retrospection, introspection...been there, done them. Wake the dormant soul and shake that ass! Here's wishin' all the folks out there... a woober va va voom Y2008 !

2007-12-15T14:59:00.000+08:00

I HAVE to have I-me-myself now. Otherwise, I am dead.

Go Kendrick !!!!

2007-12-13T22:08:00.001+08:00

Kendrick Lee fought his way through to the badminton finals at the SEA Games!!!! Yipee!!! His match against Boonsak Ponsana today was soooo exciting!!!!

Hope he wins tml's match!!!! I love Kendrick Lee!!!!

PS: He is 3 days younger than me!!!!

2007-12-10T22:58:00.000+08:00

AGAIN.

I cannot empathise with the chemistry between those entities, and neither will I condone and sympathise with all the drama accompanying the infinite failed lap reports.

Just don't cry fuck if you want to get laid. It's stupid.

Newton's Third Law

2007-12-10T21:39:00.000+08:00

Today, I thought Newton was so darn right about his third law of motion - "every action has an equal and opposite reaction" . Muhahahahah.....MUHAHAHAHAHHA!

Sample example 1. Affections overload is... repulsive ( but somewhat entertaining =P ).

Sample example 2. Explicit belief in others may... sometimes be reciprocated with self-denial and a confused state of mind.

Final sample example. The more I try to give a wide berth to "the" thing , the more haunting it gets.

....muhahahaha.....MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Enchanted

2007-12-02T13:00:00.000+08:00

I am a sucker for fairy tales, who occasionally double up as a critical, skeptical cynic. I question fairy tales while yearning for magical moments in reality. So as one can tell, I am a dangerously confused woman...haha.

But who cares when I enjoyed...and possibly related to every moment of Enchanted! The reality-fantasy combo that intrigues and tickles all my senses; just the thing I need that reaffirms my existence =P

GEMS

2007-11-27T23:32:00.000+08:00

10.00am. I was still stuck at Tanjong Pagar Plaza, so I hopped on a cab to get to office fast.

"155 Neil Road, please."

"Wah, so close ah! You cheat my feelings!"

All right, I supposed that was a case of taxi-uncle-and-his- morning-blues. But it didn't really matter 'cos I gonna get off in 3 minutes. So I kept quiet and just smiled.

"Miss, you go Changi lar! Hahaha"

Oh, Uncle just went "hahaha"! So he was joking.

Right... subsequently he was pointing at the shophouses near and far as he talked excitedly about the nice breakfast he has had in the vicinity for the past days. I hate to dampen his chirpy mood, so I played along as well.

"Come, I give you my number. Next time you need taxi, just call me!"

This is a HUGE surprise. But 'cos he was SO keen about the idea, I just swept out my hp and punched in his number. What's the harm anyway? 1 more minute...my office was just a stone's throw away.

His name was Sadly. Nope, I am not kidding about that but I am not sure if he was.

"We are now friends! Malay, Chinese, all friends!"

"Ah, Sadly, can you stop at the black gate? Thanks!"

Then I went digging for money from my wallet. When I looked up again, the meter was turned off. He pushed the money back and shoved his bread to me.

"No need, no need. You eat."

I saw no point in fighting over that, so I accepted it.

"You sms me lar! Tomorrow we have breakfast together."

" Okie can. But let me check my schedule. Thank you!" I slammed the taxi door close, and he drove off.

I lied. I know I will not arrange to makan pagi with Sadly as much as I appreciate his bread and drive. Not because he is not a Chinese, but because I am a Chinese who practises close-door policy. I am really skeptical about calling someone whom I know next to nothing about "my friend". So sorry =(

But well, his hospitality did put a smile across my face =)

2007-11-26T21:17:00.000+08:00

News of the boating mishap in Cambodia got stuck in my head since this morning. Not that I know the 5 Singaporean rowers personally, but because they were all at the prime of their lives when it happened. 5 promising national athletes, that is.

As I read the newspaper coverage which includes detailed life stories of these young chaps, there was a growing and eventually overwhelming sense of guilt. All the things that got me disoriented become negligible and silly. Honestly, if my life were to come to such an abrupt halt as well, I would definitely leave in shame!

Well, this is going to be a tough period for all the loved ones of the 5 national athletes. Let's all just keep them in our daily prayers.

Jia you!

Pebz Warrior n Bubz Pikwabbit

2007-11-14T01:52:00.000+08:00

Sorry Pebz

2007-11-11T19:32:00.000+08:00

Pebbles is suffering from diarrhea and skin infection cos he has got a mean mummy =(

I guess that is his way of protesting that I haven't spent enough time and effort on him..and his fat brother.

2007-11-08T23:48:00.000+08:00

If it takes an emotional meltdown to make a person... my thermometer reads 4 degree celsius.

what more?

2007-11-06T01:55:00.000+08:00

There was this oxymoronic casual confrontation in the midst of all the hustle and bustle of the central business district - casual for one, confronting for the other.

It was a moment of "Hell yes, shoot and be gone."

It certainly was not a case of refusal to acknowledge certain facts. I just didn't know what sensible stuff to say in response to that pervasive and haunting issue raised.

Period, get that damn ass out of the scrape!

I need to TALK

2007-11-01T22:27:00.000+08:00

"lufterz, would you like to explain to them the RGB concept?"

Everyone turned to look at me, expecting me to talk sense on the proposed item.

I stared at the powerpoint slide on the projection screen and then at my source of panic in shock. That obviously was not communicated beforehand! But when I saw that signature look on the panic source, I knew I had to just say something before the board decide something fishy was going on.

The following minute was unthinkable.

My panic source then panicked, and the ball was back in his court again.

That was NOT the first panic attack; it was my second... within a week.

Just last week, I backed out on a sales presentation SMACK RIGHT OUTSIDE the meeting room. And the RGB panic source had to pick up the pieces there and then.

FYI, I made pages and pages of preparations for the 2 presentations, but alas! Retard, or what.

"Talking" is almost the bane of my life at this current stage. I can get extremely illogical and incoherent talking to my closed friends, let alone presenting a 15 minute long proposal in front of a stat board committee. I will sometimes even lose my train of thoughts while talking. So I rather SHUT UP.

I really can't imagine what exactly the root of this problem is, 'cos I could never really understand what "stage fright" is all about years back when performing in the public was a piece of cake and even done on a regular basis.

I need to TALK... again.

Hush, I am a chinese.

2007-10-29T22:27:00.000+08:00

For the longest time, I had absolute faith in my command of the Chinese language...until I had to communicate in purrfect chinese with some Shanghainese a few weeks back. Not a nightmare, but certainly not smooth sailing either.

Three days ago, I tried to talk to my friend's mother-in-law from Hongkong in Cantonese. Well, unfortunately it was a desperate AND FUTILE attempt.

Oh, should I just by the way mention that my dialect is Hokkien and I can't understand nor speak that language for nuts? Ah, except for the entry-level vocabulary that typical Singaporeans like myself will use to pepper our daily conversations so as to truly express our innermost emotions...of a Singaporean.

SUDDENLY, I FELT STUPID. EXTREMELY STUPID.

Look around us. Majority of us cannot speak nor write in Chinese properly. Tune in to Channel 8 and Channel U; the way yuppies try to speak Chinese in that "ang moh" accent is UTTERLY DISGUSTING 'cos that "ang moh" accent has got such strong Singaporean Chinese flavour to it!

I can't give a justifiable excuse to this phenomenon...AT ALL. During my primary school and secondary school days, scoring distictions in Chinese and even Higher Chinese was a breeze. Yet, everyone claimed that they couldn't carry a proper conversation in Chinese...and so they couldn't. Teenager being a teenager, I made the decision of discarding my strength in the language because there was this tacit and pervasive belief that that was the only way to survive in a school of aristocrats. One STUPID life choice, and I am jack of 2 languages, master of none.

Empathy votes?

Looking at this "social linguistic phenomenon" from a different angle, if we are hopeless in the Chinese language, how many of us are masters of the English language? Oh, anyway, during my 'O' and 'A' levels, I have seen more failures in the English language and General Paper than in another other examinable subjects...so...well, you may vote now. A negative vote from me, that is.

More empathy votes?

So is the Chinese language that difficult to master or are we just suppressing our concious selves to appear socially "superior"? I am guilty of the latter, and there is THE NEED for me to retrieve my Chinese roots.

老娘来也!

Throw in the fucking towel

2007-10-24T21:07:00.000+08:00

I was posted to one of my most dreaded clients' office to work as part of their team, and I could feel all the cold hard stares from the oh-so-familar-and-oh-so-fucking-scary management team on me. They simply threw hundreds of Linear Algebra papers on my table; without any word of retaliation, I grabbed my pen and started to scribble as many formulas as I could recall. But the clock just seemed to tick faster and faster....faster and faster....Then I jolted out of the whole joke.

Throw in the fucking towel, it says. But the other "it" is always sneaking back to retrieve the towel. ARGH. I am so on the brink of just burning the damn towel once and for all!

Damn.

-v0id-

2007-10-24T00:10:00.000+08:00

*rustling of leaves*

*clinking of utensils*

Without them, I think I would have been engulfed in that 2 minutes of uneasy -v0id-. If only it was really -v0id- .

But somehow, -v0id- revealed the undesirable consequences of "No censorship. Purely exaggerations"

-v0id- also uncovered the persistent verbal and action diarrhea.

That virus had already contaminated some minds; so much so that I think no amount of antibiotics can help.

All I can do is....Stamp out the virus to stop the further infection, and take in more vitamin L.

And very much against my desires, stay away from the source of -v0id-...unless God decides to bestow upon me a miracle.

Snapshots

2007-10-23T21:18:00.000+08:00

HEY, the superjumbo SIA A380. The 15-min arrival sequence of the SIA A380 at Terminal 3 was finally executed with absolute perfection last Wednesday, and the subsequent 3-day show went on well with minimal hiccups. Kudos to all who make this possible =)

However, I am still pondering...the SIA first class suite OR a reputable hotel suite? Hmm, I think it's more worthwhile to check out the new economy seats instead lar.

SIA A380 Welcome Event

2007-10-17T01:16:00.000+08:00

Catch the special coverage on the arrival of SIA A380 on Channel News Asia on 17 October 2007, 6pm.

This is THE EVENT of our company for Y2007. *shrugz* Darn exciting.

Squash me FAT

2007-10-13T00:55:00.000+08:00

Basket. When was the last time I actually move my fat arse? Say a light year ago? You bet.

Random surfing the net actually led me to one of the local squash webbies...SQUASH! Tacky as it can be, I quickly removed myself from the sofa and moved my thunder legs as fast as I could towards the store room. *panting* And there, tucked in a dark little corner, is my second squash racquet since school days. =)

Check out the hand grip. Dirt contributes to the "darkening" more than the anything else!

Suddenly something else struck me. Once again, I dragged myself to the storeroom. *heart thumping and beating around madly* This time round, I dug out my pair of jogging shoes. =)

On the contrary, my pair of jogging shoes is as "white" as new! Yah, Bamboo, I see you smiling..haha!

Oh lord! My eyes just happened to sweep across my tummy area...and it certainly was a phenomenon! All rightie, this is really gettin' outa hand.

Time to exercise, LAZY ARSE!

Twenty Three

2007-10-09T23:12:00.000+08:00

One ecstatic spoilt brat. One puking and crying arse. Raptures of distress; that's lufterz for you last Friday.

It's so difficult to find words that can truly reflect the intensity of all that bipolar emotions and thoughts whirling up there in that 24 hours.

North...

It started off as a 5-person dinner that miraculously evolved into a 13-person gathering. My reaction to that was to SCREAAAAAAAAAAAM! Apologies to Goodfellas and all Timbre guests, but what the hell are the SN gals doing with my mathematician friends, man?! Once again, I am defeated by them; these are the folks who have been bullying me since God knows when, and yet I still can't help but continue leeching on to them.

To the SPECIAL GALS who made all that possible. You make AH GU laugh hysterically and do crazy things with you, you piss AH GU off and drive AH GU nuts *middle finger-small finger-thumbs up*... but damn it, AH GU is still so madly in love with you!!!

South...

051006 -051007 personal achievement list screams NIL. So have the past few ones. However they didn't really sadden me till this year. Been happy-go-lucky? Nah, it really is imbecile in disguise. Perhaps working life has really knocked some sense in me. I played the blame game and led a life of denial for one good decade; always imagining life if I hadn't enrolled myself into that school for aristocrats, if I had chosen a different course in uni, if I actually continued to pursue performing arts etc. 10 fucking years! Waaaw, why didn't I snap out of this silly act of self-delusion!

I need to LIVE A LIFE, not LIVE A LIE.

Folks, if I start acting stupid again, just whack me hard. Wow, I see a long queue of clenching fists already!

Emo pictures tell millionsss of words

2007-10-06T03:27:00.000+08:00

This 23 year old freak is in a super duper incoherent state. Please allow the 3 tacky shots taken by the freak to do the talking for today. Freak will be back when all raging emotions subside to make way for a more rational post.

Terima Kasih =)

I love my darlings

2007-10-02T23:10:00.000+08:00

9 - 6 has been extremely "experiential" these few weeks; almost a bungee-jump equivalent, except that this is still the prep stage... nerveWRECKING! To be honest, I have such serious doubts about my set of body harness right now that I think I should either get a change of bungee equipments or try other sports instead. And why did I even bother to stand by a bungee instructor who is more interested in how beautiful the bungee jumpers are in their fucked up gears vs. how safe and great the jump really is?

Whatever.

But HEY, who cares about the fucked up bungee experience when I have a DAMN RIGHT SMASHING surprise from my Sister Peggy! To my Sister Peggy, your little surprise isn't late at all...in fact it arrives a few days early *chucklez*

Also, not forgetting the surprise (really SURPRISED lor) dinner treat and pressie from another friend last Sat. Yes, I did not waste your money...'cos I can tell you how cute Ah Xin is in the video anytime anywhere.

Special occasions tell it all - who cares...and who really really cares. I don't give a toot about elaborate parties and fanciful gifts, really. All I want is LOVE.

Let Your Heart Out

2007-09-28T03:57:00.000+08:00

God loves Geeks

2007-09-25T22:17:00.000+08:00

Treacherous waters forced its way around rapidly and ferociously; all set to tear the darn rock walls down. Fortunately, some human intervention came just in time to stop a major disaster from happening.

Then, there was absolutely nothing else but serenity.

Thank God for that.

----------------------------------------------------------

Clubbing or going to pubs had never been part of my social schedule till last week, and I went to 3 over a span of 5 days...all in the name of work.

Well, I like beer and some cocktails, but not in terms of quantity; I don't appreciate shouting on top of the loud thumping music or...noise; I can't exactly function well under poor lightings; I get so freaking concious when I need to get so physically close with everyone and anyone in that congested area. That has been the way I was conditioned for the past 2 decades. But right now, my current job requires me to be just the opposite - a party animal; not just a amateur one, but a professional party animal who is always equipped with the funkiest venue list as well as contacts with all the influential people regardless of race, language or religion. A hard core geek to a full-time chiongster???

May God be with me.

As far as my progress goes, I manage to push my alcohol tolerance a little; I think I can hear (but not listen) the conversations around me better despite the FOREground music; I am slowly getting out of my claustrophobia. Despite that, it still feels like very much like walking on my hands - handicapped. Or maybe even like one of the infamous three blind mice - lost and confused.

Geez. Deliver me from all stifling emotions and thoughts!

My humble appeals to my Supernatural Power, once again.

Spark "OFF"

2007-09-19T22:20:00.000+08:00

18 Sept 8pm. Sitting around a typical 6 ft banquet table in the Cathay Restaurant were the few of us coming together for a birthday dinner, or was the table actually bigger than that?

The furnishings and adornments of the restaurant were tastefully done up to the chinese contemporary theme, except the odd choice of background music. The service staff were helpful and friendly. Not forgetting the wide spread of chinese soup and dishes that we all had; it was darn yummilicious. On top of that, there was the usual girls' talk - gossips about old friends, bitchings about office politics and scandals; nothing really serious. Everything seemed to happen the right way. Before we all parted at the train station, there was a quick round of goodbye hugs and stuff. Amid that, I heard one of the girls whisper "Take care, since we hardly see each other." I just smiled politely; I had nothing constructive to say in response to that.

"Take care, since we hardly see each other."

Let's decipher that together. Was that supposed to mean "Till we briefly meet agan for the next 2-hour birthday dinner, let's all continue to lead our lives the way they are now" or "Our paths will never meet, so please do fend for yourself". Which is worse, I can't decide. Anyway, I don't know if I really believe in that, but I believe that shed some new light on the "bond" we share...or once shared. Or, maybe she didn't even put much thought into it when she said that.

However, that wasn't exactly the oddest encounter I had recently. Imagine a sports team coming together 5 years after it dispersed. The gathering time distribution worked out to be 50% on knowing one another all over again, including the names; 30% tucking in the food on our plates, sipping sangria, and playing orientation games; 10% silence - void; final 10%...was I even there? Maybe, it just takes a few more sessions to warm everyone up, especially it is half a decade apart that we are discussing here. But how many of my team mates will actually think of meeting again? Define team spirit, and rethink this gathering.

Friendships generally don't last. Good investment of time and effort is necessary. It's a stale theory, but...novel practice.

Beautiful Lie

2007-09-17T21:54:00.000+08:00

To quote Wikipedia, "Beauty is commonly defined as a characteristic present in a person, place, object or idea that provides a perceptual experience of pleasure, meaning or satisfaction to the mind or to the eyes, arising from sensory manifestations such as a shape, color, personality, sound, design or rhythm."

Beauty appreciation is my all-time emotional therapy (as supported by the characteristic analysis of my astrological sign). In particular, I adore looking at beautiful girls. I believe many ladies out there can empathise with me here - beautiful girls are more of a head turner than good-looking guys. This has got nothing to do with my sexual orientation; this is merely my way of associating with the beautiful gang... in my own little bubble. Yes, I am living a beautiful lie. Well, at least it is beautiful =)

Against my usual practice, I bought the entertainment magazine 8 days today, all because of the featured celebrity on the magazine cover this week. She is better known as the latest Osim leg massager spokesperson Lin Chi Ling here. Many Singaporeans may find her gentle and sweet demeanour too strong for their liking, but I beg to differ. In fact, I like the special aura of elegance that she exudes.

I have no qualms about telling everyone that Audrey Hepburn and Lin Chiling are the venuses in my heart. Drop dead gorgeous ladies with extraordinary passion for life... I SO want to continue this beautiful lie of mine...*woooooooooooooo*

Out of the world experience

2007-09-09T21:30:00.000+08:00

Dear friends,

To those who made futile attempts to get me on the hp/online, I am very very sorry for the fact that I was out of touch almost the whole of last week especially over the weekend. I gotta admit that it was a deliberate move to remove myself temporarily from the network.

With my SGH X700 kept out of sight and all work-related issues completely cast aside, (if it can actually help to justify my momentary disappearance) I spent 2 quality days with me and myself. And at no time did I feel "lonely" or "lost"; it was really about finding peace with myself all over again which is something I needed so badly and should have done for myself ages ago.

It is darn right shocking to realise just how much anguish and other unhealthy emotions had accumulated in me all these while. I can't name anything that I HAD NOT sworn at for the past months, really. In particular, to quote what a friend of mine had commented about me, I had let all the fucked up things at work rule my head...and my life...completely. How stupid is that (okie, this is a statement not a question, k)? As defined by dictionary.com, a "job" is a specific task done for an agreed price. What I am doing right now is certainly not the most monetarily rewarding task a graduate should expect, however it is in some ways experientially gratifying. Despite that, I still do not believe in living and breathing work (especially at my "agreed price"). "Work to live, not live to work" - I am already planning my social and individual activities around my work schedule, so why should I even compromise on the quality and quantity time spent with my loved ones? I guess this is where I need to work out this "golden ratio of life" really meticulously...alone by myself.

Allow me to extend my apologies once again to folks who had been trying to reach me for the past week. Well, at least I am now much more sane and nicer to get along with (after this "recuperation period"). All rightie, I see faces of distrust. Please lah, can we all work on the basis of trust? It really makes this world a happier place to live in *winkz*.

PS: I finally finished watching Breakfast at Tiffany's, what can I say, man...Audrey Hepburn is drop dead gorgeous!

Speak your mind

2007-09-05T22:03:00.000+08:00

Folks, let's all look into our memory compartments. Can you name any HIGHLY ENGAGING AND DYNAMIC speakers/presenters without any hesitation? Psst, please exclude those who are part of the hearsay ya.

As a full-time student, a regular TV viewer, an occasional roadshow/event participant, I was very critical of the teachers, lecturers, emcees, sales personnel ( etc etc etc etc ) I encountered. Boring, monotonous, "lame", NOT funny, imbecile, tacky are the adjectives that I used to describe them, just to name a few. *guilt*. These harsh critics came with the initial belief that it wasn't THAT difficult to rattle, rattle and rattle on in front of people. But I soon shoot myself in the foot when...*drum rolls*...TADAH!!! Lufterz has to now take the centre stage and make mini presentations (occasionally though, whew)! Yes yes, this is what we call "karma". And yes again, Lufterz is not sexy at all when it comes to public speaking, even if it means "a public of 2 pax". You think truly appreciating good speeches/presentations now can be my saving grace? *cross all my stumpy fingers*

I marvel at how people can present without cue cards.
I wonder why they can think on their feet and I can't.
My lower jaw drops when they manage to whitewash certain facts without having to fabricate lies.
Both my jaws detach from each other totally when these people exploit certain fallacies with such perfect execution that they can actually get away with it.
I am deeply impressed with the way they interweave good humour with topics that seem so boring.
It's soooo surprising that such exaggerated body language can look so natural on stage.

Whatever it is, I am so darn jealous of people who can speak so eloquently. Geez, I need this gift of the gab...and I WANT it, man!!! Then, I will go around sweeping everyone off their feet with my sweet words and honeyed language. Gosh, this does sound like one of the most enticing things I have said of late!

lufterz's social issues

2007-08-27T22:10:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time, I was one reclusive ass that preferred to live in seclusion with my wabbit friends. Oh, I did step out of my mini comfort zone to catch up with my buddies... once every blue moon. And if I ever attended any social functions, I had the tendency to appear sullen and stand-offish. That WAS me.

Right, so what am I right now?

Still the same I suppose ( duh. I can sense the eyeballs of whoever is reading this rolling, but HOLD IT ), except that I have FINALLY come to the realisation that things aren't going to work my way if I were to maintain that unsociable disposition; especially so for the job that I am holding on right now. On top of this, I also know that my behaviour, thinking and likings can be tad too exotic for the acceptance of the mainstream society at times. Hmm, let's just say that I am not going to put myself through a 180 degree change; I guess the word we are looking at is "adjust" or "compromise".

And yes, we may term this as my "transition period".

"Transition period", to me, comes with "awkwardness". I suppose it's tantamount to teenagers' growing up phase which they seem to have minimal control over? Getting used to the new height and shape IS cumbersome, and the attempts to eliminate unwelcome growths like zits and excess body fats ARE frustrating and demoralising too. And have I not mentioned the painful fashion disasters ( disasters=tsunamis and earthquakes, not drizzles and harmless gales ) that everyone has to go through?

Call me a drama queen, but I think this "transition period" is just as bad, if not worse. Firstly, am I really going to put myself out there to communicate with the outside world? Secondly, will I able to filter out the negative reviews about me during my attempt to find my fit there? The list of doubts goes on, but not here.

Well, yea, I have no solutions at the moment. Let's just see how it goes.

So stuck in Square One

2007-08-24T22:01:00.000+08:00

Coldplay - Square One

They always put a smile upon my face at times like these...love them to death!

you're in control
is there anywhere you wanna go
you're in control
is there anything you wanna know
the future's for discovering
the space in which we travel in

from the top of the first page
to the end of the last page
from the start in your own way
you just want
somebody listening to what you say
it doesn't matter who you are

under the surface trying to break through
decifering the codes in you
I need ...?
I'm on the top, I can't get back
whoa whoa whoah
whoa whoa whoah

the first line in the first page
to the end of the last page
you where ...?
from the start in your own way
you just want
somebody listening to what you say
it doesn't matter who you are
it doesn't matter who you are

you just want
somebody listening to what you say
oh, you just want
somebody listening to what you say
it doesn't matter who you are
it doesn't matter who you are

is there anybody out there who
is lost and hurt and lonely too
they're bleeding all the colors into one
and a few come undone
as if you've been run through
some catapult who fired you
you wonder if your chance will ever come
or if you're stuck in square one

Check out the superb live performance at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ek8z8QIk6Rg

Good things always come in threes?

2007-08-17T00:43:00.000+08:00

3.0 Theorem Good things always comes in threes (... ?)

Prologue: I was watching ANTM and saw this photo with this text that says "Good things always come in threes". How interesting...

Suppose there are 3 non-collinear points in a 2D space. Let p1, p2 and p3 be these 3 points in this space.

Mr Euclid once said that "any 3 NON COLLINEAR POINTS form a TRIANGLE, a basic shape in geometry". The word "basic" suggests it is a fundamental shape/theory which many more complex ones will be built upon the seemingly harmless TRIANGLE, and here we go.

My math teacher taught us that n-sided polygon is formed by (n-2) triangles. And true enough, you can get 2 triangles out of a 4sided polygon, 3 triangles from a 5-sided polygon, so on and so forth. This is the first time I see this pricky darn thing spanning a series of formulas and theorems. IRRITATING...yes. But manageable. If there is a tinge of IRRITATION at this stage already, should I still comply with theorem 3.0? *shrugz*

Few years later, my math professor decided that maybe we should learn how to integrate triangles in a 3D space to get the respective volumes. 2-3 weeks into my calculus lecture, other n-sided polygons appeared in the later part of my calculus notes. Geez, you should have taken a look at the help sheet I brought into my calculas exam hall at the end of that semester; it was so cluttered with graphs, formulas and theorems that it looked almost like a blue colored paper that you can buy off the shelf. At that point of time, I truly understand that THREE is a BASIS OF EVIL ELEMENTS that spans nothing but A VOLUME OF PROBLEMS!

Contradiction arises. Therefore, Theorem 3.0 is NOT TRUE (proven)! Honestly, GOOD THINGS DON'T COME IN THREES!

Corollary. If you are involved with the number "3" or a "TRIANGLE" right now, I am telling you again that they are nothing but a BASIS OF EVIL ELEMENTS THAT GENERATES VOLUMES OF PROBLEMS, based on my experience.