Be.You.Tiful is you

Let Your Heart Out
Friday, September 28, 2007

--what some might say --
3:57 AM

God loves Geeks
Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Treacherous waters forced its way around rapidly and ferociously; all set to tear the darn rock walls down. Fortunately, some human intervention came just in time to stop a major disaster from happening.

Then, there was absolutely nothing else but serenity.

Thank God for that.

----------------------------------------------------------

Clubbing or going to pubs had never been part of my social schedule till last week, and I went to 3 over a span of 5 days...all in the name of work.

Well, I like beer and some cocktails, but not in terms of quantity; I don't appreciate shouting on top of the loud thumping music or...noise; I can't exactly function well under poor lightings; I get so freaking concious when I need to get so physically close with everyone and anyone in that congested area. That has been the way I was conditioned for the past 2 decades. But right now, my current job requires me to be just the opposite - a party animal; not just a amateur one, but a professional party animal who is always equipped with the funkiest venue list as well as contacts with all the influential people regardless of race, language or religion. A hard core geek to a full-time chiongster???

May God be with me.

As far as my progress goes, I manage to push my alcohol tolerance a little; I think I can hear (but not listen) the conversations around me better despite the FOREground music; I am slowly getting out of my claustrophobia. Despite that, it still feels like very much like walking on my hands - handicapped. Or maybe even like one of the infamous three blind mice - lost and confused.

Geez. Deliver me from all stifling emotions and thoughts!

My humble appeals to my Supernatural Power, once again.

Labels: chiongster, geek

--what some might say --
10:17 PM

Spark "OFF"
Wednesday, September 19, 2007

18 Sept 8pm. Sitting around a typical 6 ft banquet table in the Cathay Restaurant were the few of us coming together for a birthday dinner, or was the table actually bigger than that?

The furnishings and adornments of the restaurant were tastefully done up to the chinese contemporary theme, except the odd choice of background music. The service staff were helpful and friendly. Not forgetting the wide spread of chinese soup and dishes that we all had; it was darn yummilicious. On top of that, there was the usual girls' talk - gossips about old friends, bitchings about office politics and scandals; nothing really serious. Everything seemed to happen the right way. Before we all parted at the train station, there was a quick round of goodbye hugs and stuff. Amid that, I heard one of the girls whisper "Take care, since we hardly see each other." I just smiled politely; I had nothing constructive to say in response to that.

"Take care, since we hardly see each other."

Let's decipher that together. Was that supposed to mean "Till we briefly meet agan for the next 2-hour birthday dinner, let's all continue to lead our lives the way they are now" or "Our paths will never meet, so please do fend for yourself". Which is worse, I can't decide. Anyway, I don't know if I really believe in that, but I believe that shed some new light on the "bond" we share...or once shared. Or, maybe she didn't even put much thought into it when she said that.

However, that wasn't exactly the oddest encounter I had recently. Imagine a sports team coming together 5 years after it dispersed. The gathering time distribution worked out to be 50% on knowing one another all over again, including the names; 30% tucking in the food on our plates, sipping sangria, and playing orientation games; 10% silence - void; final 10%...was I even there? Maybe, it just takes a few more sessions to warm everyone up, especially it is half a decade apart that we are discussing here. But how many of my team mates will actually think of meeting again? Define team spirit, and rethink this gathering.

Friendships generally don't last. Good investment of time and effort is necessary. It's a stale theory, but...novel practice.

--what some might say --
10:20 PM

Beautiful Lie
Monday, September 17, 2007

To quote Wikipedia, "Beauty is commonly defined as a characteristic present in a person, place, object or idea that provides a perceptual experience of pleasure, meaning or satisfaction to the mind or to the eyes, arising from sensory manifestations such as a shape, color, personality, sound, design or rhythm."

Beauty appreciation is my all-time emotional therapy (as supported by the characteristic analysis of my astrological sign). In particular, I adore looking at beautiful girls. I believe many ladies out there can empathise with me here - beautiful girls are more of a head turner than good-looking guys. This has got nothing to do with my sexual orientation; this is merely my way of associating with the beautiful gang... in my own little bubble. Yes, I am living a beautiful lie. Well, at least it is beautiful =)

Against my usual practice, I bought the entertainment magazine 8 days today, all because of the featured celebrity on the magazine cover this week. She is better known as the latest Osim leg massager spokesperson Lin Chi Ling here. Many Singaporeans may find her gentle and sweet demeanour too strong for their liking, but I beg to differ. In fact, I like the special aura of elegance that she exudes.

I have no qualms about telling everyone that Audrey Hepburn and Lin Chiling are the venuses in my heart. Drop dead gorgeous ladies with extraordinary passion for life... I SO want to continue this beautiful lie of mine...*woooooooooooooo*

Labels: beautiful ladies

--what some might say --
9:54 PM

Out of the world experience
Sunday, September 9, 2007

Dear friends,

To those who made futile attempts to get me on the hp/online, I am very very sorry for the fact that I was out of touch almost the whole of last week especially over the weekend. I gotta admit that it was a deliberate move to remove myself temporarily from the network.

With my SGH X700 kept out of sight and all work-related issues completely cast aside, (if it can actually help to justify my momentary disappearance) I spent 2 quality days with me and myself. And at no time did I feel "lonely" or "lost"; it was really about finding peace with myself all over again which is something I needed so badly and should have done for myself ages ago.

It is darn right shocking to realise just how much anguish and other unhealthy emotions had accumulated in me all these while. I can't name anything that I HAD NOT sworn at for the past months, really. In particular, to quote what a friend of mine had commented about me, I had let all the fucked up things at work rule my head...and my life...completely. How stupid is that (okie, this is a statement not a question, k)? As defined by dictionary.com, a "job" is a specific task done for an agreed price. What I am doing right now is certainly not the most monetarily rewarding task a graduate should expect, however it is in some ways experientially gratifying. Despite that, I still do not believe in living and breathing work (especially at my "agreed price"). "Work to live, not live to work" - I am already planning my social and individual activities around my work schedule, so why should I even compromise on the quality and quantity time spent with my loved ones? I guess this is where I need to work out this "golden ratio of life" really meticulously...alone by myself.

Allow me to extend my apologies once again to folks who had been trying to reach me for the past week. Well, at least I am now much more sane and nicer to get along with (after this "recuperation period"). All rightie, I see faces of distrust. Please lah, can we all work on the basis of trust? It really makes this world a happier place to live in *winkz*.

PS: I finally finished watching Breakfast at Tiffany's, what can I say, man...Audrey Hepburn is drop dead gorgeous!

Labels: sorry, uncontactable

--what some might say --
9:30 PM

Speak your mind
Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Folks, let's all look into our memory compartments. Can you name any HIGHLY ENGAGING AND DYNAMIC speakers/presenters without any hesitation? Psst, please exclude those who are part of the hearsay ya.

As a full-time student, a regular TV viewer, an occasional roadshow/event participant, I was very critical of the teachers, lecturers, emcees, sales personnel ( etc etc etc etc ) I encountered. Boring, monotonous, "lame", NOT funny, imbecile, tacky are the adjectives that I used to describe them, just to name a few. *guilt*. These harsh critics came with the initial belief that it wasn't THAT difficult to rattle, rattle and rattle on in front of people. But I soon shoot myself in the foot when...*drum rolls*...TADAH!!! Lufterz has to now take the centre stage and make mini presentations (occasionally though, whew)! Yes yes, this is what we call "karma". And yes again, Lufterz is not sexy at all when it comes to public speaking, even if it means "a public of 2 pax". You think truly appreciating good speeches/presentations now can be my saving grace? *cross all my stumpy fingers*

I marvel at how people can present without cue cards.
I wonder why they can think on their feet and I can't.
My lower jaw drops when they manage to whitewash certain facts without having to fabricate lies.
Both my jaws detach from each other totally when these people exploit certain fallacies with such perfect execution that they can actually get away with it.
I am deeply impressed with the way they interweave good humour with topics that seem so boring.
It's soooo surprising that such exaggerated body language can look so natural on stage.

Whatever it is, I am so darn jealous of people who can speak so eloquently. Geez, I need this gift of the gab...and I WANT it, man!!! Then, I will go around sweeping everyone off their feet with my sweet words and honeyed language. Gosh, this does sound like one of the most enticing things I have said of late!

Labels: dynamic speakers, jealous

--what some might say --
10:03 PM